struggles

Most of you that read this blog know me fairly well. You are friends, family and the occasional church/support group member who finds my through on of my other blogging sites. Many of you have told me how the words printed here have helped you get to know me better and for that I am thankful. I am a person who is just trying to live for God one day at the time and, like all people who make that commitment, I struggle.

I struggle with pride and arrogance more often than I would like to admit. I like hearing that I have given a good lesson, raised an important question or written a great article. Those of you who pay me these compliments occasionally appreciate my work and, I hope, instead of pride I can cultivate a humble spirit and strive to continue to use the gifts God has blessed me with.

I struggle with motivation. Because of the medications I take for my living with bipolar disorder, each morning is a struggle just to get out of bed. If I stay in my house for long after rising, the pressure to get back in bed overcomes me more often than not. I drove an hour today to my favorite local library type my last few posts and articles just so I wouldn't get back in bed. In my world, I consider this a small victory. Staying vertical and accomplishing small goals each day is helping my to survive my moods.

I struggle with other things of course. Desire, confusion, my temper: all of these things have held me captive at one time or another. I live each day attempting to live in the moment, live for the present and the future and not be held back by my past successes or failures.

Still, the struggle continues...