For the last several years, due largely to the medications I take, I have gained weight. A LOT of weight. I was, just four years ago, a clean-cut (if not gaunt) 165 lbs. Today, I have added almost 100 lbs. to that skinny frame. My mind is more clear than it was then, but my body is a bit of a wasteland. It is not only the weight gain that bothers me; it is the constant commenting on it by others. Most of it is meant in fun, of course, but I am actually quite self-conscious about it. Most people don't know the medical side of it; they just see the physical result. I do realize that I could do many things to improve my situation. Diet, exercise and a more active lifestyle would all do a great deal of good. The only downside to those solutions is that each day is still a struggle to have the energy to simply get up, shower, dress and do the required business of the day. I may seem better (I am not in the hospital, I am not having hallucinations, I am not self-harming, etc.), but I am still not well. I am improving, but I am cautious about any dramatic changes in lifestyle. I would love to lose weight, but I much prefer having a stable mind and if that packs on the pounds due to the medications, I'll take it.
blessings,
-Will
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