When I was a child, my parents often took me to national and state parks particularly those surrounding the Civil War era. As a young child I became involved with Civil War reenacting and participated for several years as a powder bearer (Powder Monkey) for Company K of the Tennessee Artillery, C.S.A. based out of Fort Pillow, TN. From the time I realized some of the political and social ramifications of the Civil War, I became self-conscious about "fighting" for the Southern cause. I loved the camp life and the older men that participated each weekend and I learned much about history, but I also learned that some people had not learned from the mistakes of our ancestors. As I grew older and learned more, my heart was torn between my modern day sympathies and the knowledge that had I been a boy in Tennessee in 1861 I would have probably felt differently.
No amount of study could erase the admiration I felt for Robert E. Lee and Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson, and yet, I also greatly admired Elisha P. Lovejoy, Frederick Douglass, Robert Gould Shaw and Abraham Lincoln. My heart was divided at such a tender age over something that happened so long ago. I still believe I would have struggled with secession as many in Tennessee did and given the climate of the times I am sure the choice of blue or gray would have been difficult and, in the end, perhaps deadly.
Enjoy some remembrances from the master of Civil War historians, Shelby Foote.
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