Sunday, May 25, 2014

Old and New

Today is the first day of something new.
I spent the last decade concentrating on the things I thought were missing from my life. My 20s were a long string of unmet expectations.  Always wanting something more, something bigger, something real. I realize now that I had those things all along I just didn't realize it.  
It is something more to be able to spend time with your aging grandparents and to be able to be a help to them. 
 It is something big to find light and stability in the midst of darkness and madness.  
It is something real to serve one church for a whole decade and to grow along with them in grace. To learn to love them for who they are and not for who you want them to be. To realize that you are in this together and that you grow stronger by leaning on one another.
I don't know what my 30s will hold, but I am looking forward to finding out. I honestly thought for a long time that I would never make it to 30.  Well now here it is, brimming with possibility. I am still not satisfied with where I am and I know my life still has room to improve, but for today I am content to celebrate the good and work to remedy the bad. I still battle unruly passions, and I think I always will, but I am not overwhelmed by the struggle. I have experience I want to take with me into this new decade, but I also have parts of me I want to leave behind. I want to carry my passion and my knowledge forward, and I want to leave my fear and cynicism in the past.

Three decades down and an eternity to go. 
Here I come.

"There are a thousand thousand reasons to live this life, everyone of them sufficient."